One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Randomize
