So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Randomize
