is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
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