He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted