I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
People With No Siblings Will Never Understand These 23 Things
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
25 Seemingly Normal Things That Give Some People Massive Anxiety
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?