home. puking in laundry basket.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
