what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Randomize
