I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize