so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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