Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
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