I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
