ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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