Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
