thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
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Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
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So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
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