Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
this will be a night to untag.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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