Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
