But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
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He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
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As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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