But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
