saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
my being single is dangerous.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Randomize