I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
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