Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
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