Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
