If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Girls should come with a carfax report
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
