he shaved USA in his pubs
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
