No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
