I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
They took my balls.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
sex in a hospital.. check
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
