tell your sister to shave her snatch
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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