Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
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