When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
