i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
This toilet bowl is my home.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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