Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
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Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
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First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
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