Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize