Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
