i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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