all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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