I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
honey bunches of taint.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
