I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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