I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
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