he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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