I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Randomize
