STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
