nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Nicole vs. Life
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
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