My hand turned me down
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize
