Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
