Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Randomize
