Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
She announced her abortion via fbk
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
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