I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
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I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
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Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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