this just has baby written all over it
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
two words...techno handjob
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Randomize