I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Randomize
