If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Randomize
