ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Randomize
