I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Randomize
