is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Randomize
