i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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