one might say we're banned from that church
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
