yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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