He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
