its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
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