im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
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