So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
