I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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