I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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