so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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