I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Randomize
