Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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